
Photo by ♥ kacyphoto Traditionally portrayed as a holiday special time of year for families to be together.
However, when a divorce or separation occurs, many parents and children are feeling confused, disappointed, frustrated and conflicted. During this time of year, it is important to remember specific cases need not be very emotional as parents have the opportunity to address the needs of children first.
Here are some tips on how to make your holiday season less stressful for you and your children.
¯ Realize that you may need to adjust your expectations.
¯ Try to stay focused on the needs of your children and how your decisions on holiday will affect them directly. Think about what kind of memories you want to have this holiday season and what is most important to them.
¯ Keep children informed about their plans.
¯ Children need to know where they are going to be for special occasions and with whom. Support your children to have contact with the other parent or extended family members during special hours with you.
¯ Avoid conflict with the other parent.
¯ Remember what is most important for children are those who spend their day specialists, but rather that their parents were fighting over who will be together for the holidays. While sharing holiday can be a challenge for the welfare of children, choose your battles carefully and try to minimize tensions.
¯ If you are traveling with children, provide the other parent with information. It’s always a good idea to let the other parent know if they are to travel with their children during the holiday season. It gives the other parent giving details of when and where children are, well, how to contact them while you are away from home.
¯ Help your children to make or buy gifts for their other parent. Children need to experience the joy of giving and also sends a message to your children to support their relationship with the other parent.
¯ Allow children the opportunity to talk about past holidays. Remember, children have the right to good memories of their family before the divorce or separation. Make sure to support their feelings about how things have changed.
¯ Let children know that even if the holiday will be different, can still be special. Invite children to help create new rituals to their holiday. It’s OK to have different ways of celebrating the holidays in every home. You may also want to talk with them about the old traditions and brainstorm how your children to combine old and new traditions.
¯ Try not to let guilt get the better of you during the holidays. Often parents feel guilty about how hard divorce can be for kids. Sometimes they can react to that guilt from overindulging our children with gifts during the holidays.
Avoid becoming embroiled in a competition with your ex a gift or buy gifts for your children that you know the other parent will not approve or want at home. When possible, try to coordinate the gift options with the other parent.
¯ Give gifts with no strings attached. Even though sometimes it can be very difficult, let your children decide which house they want to keep their gifts.
¯ Try to maintain a sense of humor and stay flexible. Sometimes projects may need to be changed or revised to accommodate the needs of your children. Do not sweat the small stuff. When faced with a decision to change plans can help yourself to ask what difference will it make a year from now?
¯ Use times when you’re with your kids in a positive way. Expenditure for the holidays are not your children can be difficult. Make plans with close friends, family members or take time to do something special for yourself.
¯ If this first holiday minimize the volume for your children as much as possible.
¯ Children do not responsible for communicating events to the other parent for the holidays. Only engage in cooperative activities with the other parent, such as opening presents Christmas morning, although it will be a positive experience for children. It is important that conflict or tension between the parents to be treated properly.
¯ If the parent is with your children for the holidays, use this time to care for yourself and let your children know they will be okay. Children will worry how to handle the holidays. Reassure them that even if this holiday will be different, it will be okay. Encourage them to have a good time with the other parent.
¯ If you have children for the holidays, be aware that you may lose a parent is not on it now or for the holidays. Holidays are traditionally a special time with the family, which can stir up many emotions for your children. Make sure you can call or talk to the other parent to wish them happy holidays.
¯ Focus on rebuilding a sense of family.
¯ Talk with children about what makes the holidays special for them and discuss how you can enjoy your time together. Remember, time with children should not be excessive. It is not about what you spend, but how time is spent.

Divorce: Let’s Talk (Resources For Children in Distress)

Raising Children of Divorce: Practical Help for Parents [VHS]

The Parent Trap (Special Edition)

One Fine Day
Alvaro Castillo has been writing about health and specializing pregnancy along with how to deal with the first year of their baby?s life for 10 years, helping women with positive results. For more information check out his website at http://www.myhomeparent.com or visit his blog http://myhomeparent.blogspot.com to share your opinion
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