The Baby Bond: Meant to be Held
Tender discussion of the importance of responding to and holding infants, by the author of “Baby Matters,” and “The Baby Bond.” Natural Parenting, Attachment Parenting. … attachment parenting natural baby holding carrying bonding mother father infant touch matters science evidence skin affection oxytocin sling carrier crying adoption
This message needs to be broadcast loudly in our cold and impersonal society. There would be a lot less crime and social depression if parents responded with greater kindness and love to their children. In my book “letting a child cry it out” is tantamount to abuse.
Mothers’ brains change during pregnancy more powerfully than do male brains (a gender difference we cannot dispute), and then females biologically derive more benefit from responding affectionately to infant cries and from skin-to-skin contact with the infant (as opposed to just being nearby); their brain and hormonal responses developing toward strong desire to provide very intimate care to the infant. — Linda Folden Palmer, DC, author The BABY BOND
. . . and males can certainly provide differing levels of affection and attention.
Back to the effects on adults (just out of interest). . . the brain circuitry and hormonal responses in an adult being exposed to an infant are rather different. Male brains are altered toward more protective and devoted manners from co-habitating with a pregnant female and from being around the new mother and baby.
Infants respond the most powerfully to nursing at the breast – a rather female exclusive event, though snuggly bottle nursing and other affectionate care (most powerful is skin-to-skin contact ) can be provided by male or female and baby will respond powerfully to either. The more general answer is that infants respond more strongly to the kind of attention that females tend to be more programmed to provide but they absolutely respond positively to male parents/caretakers holding and carrying. . .
The infant’s response to carrying depends in part upon the bonding that is otherwise going on, though, in ways, that baby just knows who mom is and is often happiest with mom — but that’s not to belittle the positive effects from father/male carrying or otherwise providing affection at all, and most infants seem quite happy with being carried by their fathers when the father is regularly involved.
Well, the gender of the parent makes a difference in how their adult brain and hormonal systems will respond to the pregnancy and infant exposures (more on that below). But, speaking specifically about holding babies, from the infant’s point of view, carrying provides a good portion of the potential bonding patterns and positive input and interplays that lead to permanent hormonal and neurological changes, leading, in turn, to lifelong mental and physical health effects.
Does the gender of the parent matter? I think it does, because it has an affect on which gender is more physically affectionate when they grow up.