Have Reasonable Expectations of Your Children’s Behavior
Every parent has expectations of their children. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. They are important. Expectations form the foundation for many things in our lives.
As parents, you have to pause and evaluate your expectations from your children once in a while to see if they are reasonable or not. It is, of course, very difficult to come to any definite conclusion about them, but you must try to have positive and reasonable expectations otherwise there will be frustration for all concerned.
To come to any reasonable conclusion about the reasonableness of your expectations you will have to do some research – inside and outside. Outside, compare your expectations with others; don’t compare your children with other’s children. Look into what the established child behavior guidelines are for your child’s age. If a child at one is not expected to construct a full sentence, don’t expect it from your child.
When you decide whether an expectation you have for you child is reasonable, you have to be as objective as possible. Look into what the established child behavior guidelines are for your child’s age. If the established guideline is that children don’t develop full sentence speech till they are at least a year old, expecting a full sentence out of your six-month old isn’t a responsible expectation.
Children cannot be compared, and it is one of the most common mistakes parents make when they compare their child with the neighbor’s. If your child happens to be average in studies, try your best to help him improve but learn to accept it. All children are not born to be geniuses. Your child might have some other talent; look for it and develop that instead of harping on grades.
Frustration is the other side of the coin of expectation. Unreasonable expectations will lead to serious disappointment. Allow your child to grow freely within the accepted framework of society and don’t impose unnecessary standards that must be achieved. This way, you will automatically cut out child behavioral problems.
It is equally important to convey your reasonable expectation in child behavior to your child. You can formulate a set of goals in different areas of child discipline, and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they’ve reached one.
Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don’t push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don’t force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That’s placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.
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Tags: ADD, ADHD, child behavior, child behavior problems, Parenting, parenting tips, temper tantrums
