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Posts Tagged ‘high school’

Is Your Gay Son Succeeding In High School?

Thursday, May 13th, 2010
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It is true that an increasing number of gay teens are coming out than was the case a couple decades ago.  A majority of gay males still tend to wait until they move from home to attend college or even later before becoming courageous enough to share that important part of their identity with friends and family.  In fact, a large portion of gay men never come out to one of both of their parents, something that is frequently an issue of great regret after a parent’s passing.  Parents never sign a contract promising to be enthusiastic about their child’s sexual orientation, no matter what that identity is.  In fact, many of us would prefer to think of our children as totally non-sexual beings as long as possible.  However, a parent does need to be supportive of a child in a number of important ways.

I write this piece from a particular perspective.  I’ve been a college professor at top tier universities for more than thirty years, and many students, straight and not, have passed through my life.  Most of my students, with a few notable exceptions, quickly learn that I am available to them for their academic problems, but they often expand those discussions to other things that impact their lives.  I have lots of conversations with students who seem to be able to steer the discourse into areas that cause them some concern outside of the classroom. 

Naturally some of these students are bisexual or gay or, sometimes, a bit unsure.  Gay males particularly will often talk about their high school experiences.  For some of them, the high school years were very pleasant; for others it was an agonizing period.  My students, regardless of their sexual orientation, handled their high school years rather well.  Kids who don’t function successfully in high school never find their ways onto my campus.  I worry about those many gay young men with whom I have no opportunity to interact.

If you have a gay son in high school, whether or not he has told you he is gay, it is quite possible that he leaves your home each morning to face challenges that have nothing to do with that essay for history class or his science project.  Almost half of all high school gay males are harassed at school.  In most cases, those victims are too embarassed to talk to anyone about it; they often feel as if they should be able to handle their own problems. 

Unfortunately, for many bisexual or gay students, home is often anything but a safe haven.  For example, approximately one third of gay students are physically abused because of their sexual orientation by one or more members of their own families (parents or siblings or both).  Some of the abused kids leave home voluntarily in order to protect themselves; others are forced to leave.  Some of those victims are able to move in with friends who have supportive friends, while others become homeless.  I trust that you will recognize your parental obligation to provide a safe, loving environment that will serve as a launching pad for his eventual success in life.

Even if you are unhappy about his sexual identity, there is an inherent duty in parenthood to establish an environment that is conducive to a continuous dialogue.  You may need to look for indirect, subtle cues to determine whether he is experiencing those sorts of problems at school.  That’s not easily accomplished; adolescents are naturally private and moody beings.  The alternative, though is almost certain academic failure, and the results can become even worse than that.  Gay youth are between three and four times more likely that straight youth to attempt suicide; and all boys are more likely to succeed at suicide attempts than are girls.  I don’t want to seem alarmist, but it is essential that parents be armed with truth.

Pay attention to whether your son is socializing with friends.  All teens genuinely need social interaction with their age cohorts, but most gay teen report that they feel isolated.  Your son should be going out with friends or friends should be coming to your house to visit.  If that is not the case, check your son’s in school behavior with a teacher.  Teachers often are able to offer insights into your son from the vantage point of having experience with a wide variety of types of students.

If your son’s social life seems non-existent or limited, encourage him to join at least one extra-curricular activity of his choice.  What the activity is does not matter.  There is value in any organized group that allows him to be with his peers working toward a shared objective.  A church youth group may serve this goal, but only if the church is highly accepting of diversity in sexual identity, because otherwise it could serve to further complicate his already difficult life.

We all need to protect our children, no matter our personal views toward non-straight sexual identities.  We all must love and, to the extent that we are able, protect our children.  In fact, that is your most important job.  We must demonstrate our love through our actions as well as our words.

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Tutoring Agreement.

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
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One of the most important things you can do with a new tutor, on the first day of tutoring, is draft a tutoring agreement. This should outline what the tutor expects of the student and what the student expects of the tutor. It is important for the student to understand that a tutor isn’t a magic fix, and it’s important for the tutor to understand what the student should get out of the session.

Right up front, everybody should know that it’s not a tutor’s job to do the student’s homework. That not only wastes time and money, but it lessens the student’s chance to understand his homework. The act of struggling through material is important because it allows the student to realize the places where they might go wrong. For example, if a math tutor corrects every mistake instantly, a student won’t remember which method was the correct one.

The next important part of the tutor agreement is what a tutor should bring to the table. A tutor should be closely in contact with the student, his or her teacher, and the parents. Thus the tutor should always know what the student is doing in class. Beware of any tutor who does not know about upcoming test dates etc. The tutor should also bring prepared notes to each session to maintain focus.

How much time should a student spend preparing for a tutoring session in addition to the time he or she spends doing homework. Experience suggests that an hour out of session per hour in session is the right amount. This helps to maximize the effectiveness of the tutoring session. It also ensures that a student has time to practice what is taught by the tutor.

If a student is working with an English tutor, or a writing tutor, then he or she needs to spend more time outside of the session working. Many college writing courses require 2-4 hours of writing per night to work with a tutor. In writing (and math) practice is so important.

The final important facet of the tutoring agreement is a student’s goals. These should be partly class related (a certain grade) and partly additional learning to work on when the grades are back on course. Some good examples of extra learning could be learning to use a computer program like Excel, or reading books from a different author (in English tutoring). Remember that the end goal should always be to maximize learning, not grades.

Hopefully you now have the information necessary to begin working with a new tutor. With the proper agreement of how time should be spent, you’ll no doubt have a good experience. If your tutor is not living up to the goals you set forth, then you should start seeking a new one immediately.

For the best available English tutor look no further than All Ivy Tutoring. We provide ain-home tutoring service with only the most qualified tutors. If you’re grades need improvement, contact All Ivy Tutoring today. Your satisfaction is guaranteed. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service

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Choosing The Right Tutor.

Thursday, November 12th, 2009
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People often ask me how to go about choosing a tutor in a large city like Phoenix. Choosing a tutor is a very important step when trying to improve grades or standardized test scores. There are several important factors that one should consider when trying selecting a Phoenix tutoring company; these include tutoring experience, subject expertise, education level, tutoring style, and proximity.

To assess a tutor’s experience, you should consider his or her resume. When looking for a tutor in a large city like Phoenix, you’ll have to select from many tutors. Most company websites have tutor profiles which list the experience and education of their tutors. References are also an important tool; do not neglect to ask for them. You should always consider testimonials suspect, as they are controlled by the webmaster.

Every tutor has different levels of expertise in different subject areas. It’s important to choose the right amount of experience. For a high school student, almost every tutor will have achieved the desired leveled of expertise. Make sure to choose somebody with a highly related degree the subject you want tutored. For example, if you need a Phoenix Math Tutor, choose somebody with an engineering or Math degree. If you’re looking for a Phoenix English Tutor, choose a Literature or English major.

A tutor’s education is also an important factor to consider. You’ll want somebody who has graduated recently from college in your area. Those tutors have empathy and remember the process of learning much better than a seasoned teacher or PhD. Ivy League tutors and those from other top universities are also a good find. They have diverse education, interest, and academic drive. They’ve also mastered standardized tests, making them excellent Phoenix SAT tutors.

Tutoring style is very hard to measure, but it’s also one of the most important skills. Really the only way to do this is to check references and keep in close contact with your tutor after they’re hired. Choose somebody who teaches the skills to learn and think about dealing with problems rather than somebody who drills facts. Learning the former will help in academics for the rest of your life.

Getting a tutor close to you will make your tutoring experience go much smoother. There are several resources that will help you with this aspect. Try doing a websearch for the relevant city, for example, Mesa tutoring or Scottsdale tutoring. Many local phonebooks will also have a listing for Chandler tutoring (for example).

These are the most important qualities you should look for when selecting a tutor. Most importantly however, you should always keep in close contact with your employee, and never be afraid to look for somebody else if your tutor isn’t performing.

If you’re looking for the top in-home tutoring service available, look know further. All Ivy Tutoring is your top choice for a chemistry tutor around the country. Check out our website to find a tutor in your area.

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